The Free Land of Phizi is a colossal, socially progressive nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, daily referendums, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 8.712 billion Phizians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, outspoken government prioritizes Defense, with Healthcare, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.0%.

The strong Phizian economy, worth 492 trillion Tobaccos a year, is led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is 56,542 Tobaccos, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

The government has declared that sharing is uncaring, no one gossips with Leader during diplomatic summits, a major religion has been named as Phizi's national religion, and Leader has just been declared ruler of Phizi in an international press conference. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Phizi's national animal is the Spirit Animal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Phizi is ranked 41,722^nd in the world and 8^th in Turtle Island for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 4,950.62 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.