The Republic of Phantom Eyes is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its state-planned economy and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.669 billion Phantom Eyesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 47.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Phantom Eyesian economy, worth 45.0 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, Cheese Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 7,937 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, all statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers, every workday begins with group therapy, and a major religion has been named as Phantom Eyes's national religion. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phantom Eyes's national animal is the tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Phantom Eyes is ranked 66,808^th in the world and 21^st in New Warsaw Pact for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 36.13 on the Bus Surprisal Index.