by Max Barry

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Largest Black Market: 196thLargest Mining Sector: 341stLargest Insurance Industry: 351st
The Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Strength by Superiority
Sidaroth
Influence
Ambassador
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Petan Empire

Population15.485 billion

CapitalIconus
LeaderSidaroth
FaithDiscordianism

CurrencyPetan Credit
AnimalIconian Eagle

The Empire of Petan Empire is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Sidaroth with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.485 billion Petan Citizens are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Iconus. The average income tax rate is 91.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Petan economy, worth a remarkable 6,298 trillion Petan Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 406,758 Petan Credits, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash, young people avoid opening doors for the elderly with impunity, doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins, and citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Petan Empire's national animal is the Iconian Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Discordianism.

Petan Empire is ranked 403rd in the world and 1st in Mordor for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring 19,165.4 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Black Market: 196thLargest Mining Sector: 341stLargest Insurance Industry: 351stLargest Agricultural Sector: 403rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 430thMost Valuable International Artwork: 682ndHighest Average Incomes: 704thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 768thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 796thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 966thMost Corrupt Governments: 966thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,005thHighest Economic Output: 1,182ndMost Avoided: 1,559thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,572ndLowest Crime Rates: 1,893rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,008thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,031stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,038thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,047thTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 2,507thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,507thLargest Governments: 3,213thMost Stationary: 3,475thMost Developed: 3,626thMost Efficient Economies: 3,761stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,940thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,913thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,272ndSmartest Citizens: 5,363rdLongest Average Lifespans: 5,908thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,467thMost Secular: 7,129thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,525thTop
10%
Most Conservative: 11,871stLargest Populations: 13,098thMost Authoritarian: 13,448thMost Influential: 13,888thLargest Retail Industry: 15,572ndHealthiest Citizens: 17,983rd
Top
5%
Largest Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, young people avoid opening doors for the elderly with impunity.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, the government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, Maths Professor Barbie is the most popular toy for boys and girls alike.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Petan Citizens any less frightened.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, the big red machine has ground to a halt.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, proper policy proposals prerequire professional peer-reviewed papers.
  • : Following new legislation in Petan Empire, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner.

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