The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, unlimited-speed roads, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 7.914 billion Pencil Sharpeners live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals is solely concerned with Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pencilpolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The imploded Pencil Sharpener economy, worth 44.3 billion Pencil Shavings a year, defies classification, with the entire state effectively one black market. Average income is 5 Pencil Shavings, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 42 per year while the poor average 0.2, a ratio of 208 to 1.

City sidewalks are crowded with overweight people, the government has completely eliminated all childcare programs, the nation's countrysides are littered with landmines due to ongoing family disputes, and thousands of children die every day from easily curable illnesses. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Pencil Sharpeners's national animal is the Pencil, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Pencil Sharpeners is ranked 4,764^th in the world and 129^th in the South Pacific for Most Devout, with 3,295.37 Prayers Per Hour.