The Free Land of Pax Somaliana is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by the President with an even hand, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, national health service, and flagrant waste-dumping. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 20.785 billion Somalians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Education, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Industry receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mogadishu. The average income tax rate is 67.0%.

The enormous but inefficient Somalian economy, worth a remarkable 1,137 trillion Shekels a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 54,746 Shekels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Vats of anabolic steroids are being dumped into the ocean to make Somalian mussels the biggest in Eastern Africa, pilots always remember to send their doctors a Maxxmas card, masterpieces by male artists are on display in the dumpsters behind the gallery, and grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pax Somaliana's national animal is the Camel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Pax Somaliana is ranked 14,717^th in the world and 1^st in Eastern Africa for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.5 law-abiding acts per hour.