by Max Barry

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Largest Agricultural Sector: 15thLargest Information Technology Sector: 72ndHighest Poor Incomes: 120th
The Dominion of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Patriarchic Bliss

Population6.916 billion

CapitalPatriarch City
LeaderMajor Ity
FaithBow down to your God-King Major Ity

Currencybitcoin
Animalunicorn

The Dominion of Patriarchic Bliss is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Major Ity with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.916 billion Patriarchs are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Patriarch City. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Patriarch economy, worth a remarkable 4,098 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 592,621 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Motorists must pay to enter inner-cities during peak hours, AI citizens are criticized for being robotic, the realistic depiction of tentacles is on the core syllabus of most art schools, and gene-engineered sewerjacks don't smell but they do stink. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Patriarchic Bliss's national animal is the unicorn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Bow down to your God-King Major Ity.

Patriarchic Bliss is ranked 268,807th in the world and 9,498th in the Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 5.26 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 15thLargest Information Technology Sector: 72ndHighest Poor Incomes: 120thHighest Average Incomes: 179thMost Corrupt Governments: 227thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 267thMost Scientifically Advanced: 278thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 359thMost Patriotic: 398thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 403rdLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 488thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 499thLargest Black Market: 505thLargest Insurance Industry: 588thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 615thLowest Crime Rates: 680thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 736thLargest Mining Sector: 824thSmartest Citizens: 839thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 883rdMost Advanced Public Education: 1,113thLargest Governments: 1,324thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,913thMost Efficient Economies: 2,114thTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,071stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,255thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,617thHighest Economic Output: 3,675thMost Authoritarian: 4,538thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,558thLargest Retail Industry: 5,243rdNudest: 5,247thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,962ndHealthiest Citizens: 6,052ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7,437thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,730thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,188thMost Secular: 9,455thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,242ndMost Conservative: 12,416thMost Developed: 13,507thTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 16,029thMost Influential: 20,231stMost Stationary: 20,924thMost Extreme: 26,962nd
Top
1%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 10th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 10th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 11th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 13th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 14th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionLargest Black Market: 17th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18th in the regionMost Patriotic: 18th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 22nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 22nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 25th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 25th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 29th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 31st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 39th in the regionLargest Governments: 42nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 55th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 57th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 70th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 70th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 85th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 91st in the regionNudest: 92nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 96th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 114th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 166th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 168th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 186th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 196th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 208th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 239th in the regionMost Stationary: 258th in the regionMost Secular: 259th in the regionMost Extreme: 263rd in the regionMost Developed: 337th in the regionMost Influential: 356th in the regionLargest Populations: 371st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 397th in the regionTop
10%
Most Conservative: 558th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 708th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 960th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, gene-engineered sewerjacks don't smell but they do stink.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, the realistic depiction of tentacles is on the core syllabus of most art schools.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, AI citizens are criticized for being robotic.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, motorists must pay to enter inner-cities during peak hours.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, atheists on vacation find Bow down to your God-King Major Ity's scriptures make useful doorstops.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, military spending is on the increase.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, government officials are phoning up good-looking celebrities to say they want to breed with them.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit.
  • : Following new legislation in Patriarchic Bliss, bilingual Patriarchs are viewed with suspicion.

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