The Presbyterian States of Paleoconservative Citizens is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by Pat Buchanan with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, frequent executions, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 786 million Paleoconservatives are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of West Bridge City. The average income tax rate is 40.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Paleoconservative economy, worth 77.3 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is 98,351 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Spies caught in Paleoconservative Citizens are never heard from again, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits, Pat Buchanan has just been declared ruler of Paleoconservative Citizens in an international press conference, and boys who even ask about cheerleading are placed on the Sex Offenders Register. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paleoconservative Citizens's national animal is the Elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Paleoconservative Citizens is ranked 142,612^th in the world and 178^th in Federation of Conservative Nations for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 26.08 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.