The Republic of Pail Island is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its parental licensing program, compulsory gun ownership, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 7.793 billion Pail Islandians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 64.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pail Islandian economy, worth 833 trillion Euros a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 106,937 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

A PhD just ain't what it used to be, cheap textbooks have replaced coasters at college ragers, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, and colonists who were promised new lands find only war-torn devastation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pail Island's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pail Island is ranked 316,955^th in the world and 455^th in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Most Pacifist, with 5.59 cheeks turned per day.