The Protectorate of Paffnicard 5 is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, infamous sell-swords, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 8.061 billion Paffniacs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The average income tax rate is 69.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 1,048 trillion banks a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 130,022 banks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Catherine Gratwick's campaign support is considered seminal, metal detectors at school gates make sure that teenagers are carrying at least one sidearm, politicians are forced to wear portable lie detectors at all times, and Aleksandar Vekili has been seen stealthily slicing fifths off bread loaves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnicard 5's national animal is the card, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is card farming.

Paffnicard 5 is ranked 20,957^th in the world and 2^nd in 10KI Card Farm for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.94 law-abiding acts per hour.