by Max Barry

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Coffee declared National Beverage of Overthinkers


OVERTHINKERS CITY—In a landslide victory, coffee has been elected the national beverage of the United Kingdom of Overthinkers, garnering 65 percent of the vote.

Tea came in second with 28 percent, while early favorite water recieved a surprisingly meager 6 percent. Mountain Dew came in last with less than one percent of the votes, getting only three more votes than the number of signatures that put it on the ballot.

Overthinkers City resident Drew Java spearheaded the winning campaign. "Ever since our nation's founding, coffee has been an integral part of Overthinking life. It has fueled our greatest minds and kept our workforce moving."

Parliament power Sir Michael Green, however, was not pleased. "I don't see why this vote was given to the people in the first place," he told reporters. "Since when has such a trivial thing as the national beverage merited a democratic vote?" One reporter was said to then attempt to find an answer, not caring that it was a rhetorical question.

The Overthinkers Herald will be sure to keep you informed as our nation's leaders analyze this issue...and probably consider it a bad idea but not do anything about it.

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