The Technocratic Jacobin State of Orthlandia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Lucīanus with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, flagrant waste-dumping, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.953 billion Ōrtharōrum are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ōrthā. The average income tax rate is 31.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Ōrtharī economy, worth 900 trillion Denars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 181,866 Denars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year, nudity is frowned upon, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, and it's best to decline if Lucīanus offers to buy a round of drinks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Orthlandia's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Orthlandia is ranked 28,661^st in the world and 17^th in Caer Sidi for Highest Poor Incomes, with 77,612.3 Standard Monetary Units.