The Imperial Union of States of Oneid is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Tomas Lovekost with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, aversion to nipples, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.395 billion Oneidians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shanghai. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 49.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Oneidian economy, worth 360 trillion Dolars a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 150,605 Dolars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 831,310 per year while the poor average 13,786, a ratio of 60.3 to 1.

The populace lives in fear of painful execution for minor offences, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, nudity is frowned upon, and the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oneid's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Empty Gods.

Oneid is ranked 143,451^st in the world and 141^st in Oneid for Most Average, scoring 31.39 on the Average Standardized Normality Scale.