The Help I Couped Astoria of Omnicontrol is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Her Supreme Majesty Cloe Aithbitt with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory vegetarianism, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.825 billion Omnis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aithbittarika. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 31.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Omni economy, worth 562 trillion Omnicoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 199,245 Omnicoins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,127,708 per year while the poor average 17,248, a ratio of 65.4 to 1.

Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, government popup ads are springing up like weeds, the fate of the world literally rests on Her Supreme Majesty Cloe Aithbitt's fingers, and the nanny industry has had a boom after maternity leave was recently banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Omnicontrol's national animal is the Rising Aith, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Holy Aithbitt Supremacy.

Omnicontrol is ranked 139,058^th in the world and 75^th in Astoria for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,401.99 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.