The Republic of Olongon is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Ollah with a fair hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of prisons, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 10.207 billion Olongonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olontopia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Olongonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,516 trillion kilos a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 344,509 kilos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths, deli patrons examine their roast beef for undetonated explosives, advertisers are struggling to make water sound cool to a twitchy public, and a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Olongon's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Olongon is ranked 40,608^th in the world and 342^nd in the South Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 35.2 trillion Standard Monetary Units.