by Max Barry

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Most Authoritarian: 4,126thMost Conservative: 6,349thLargest Insurance Industry: 8,509th
The Dictatorship of
Psychotic Dictatorship
War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength
Influence
Apprentice
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Strong
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Oldspeak

Population867 million

CapitalAirstrip One
LeaderBig Brother

CurrencyPound Sterling
Animalrat

The Dictatorship of Oldspeak is a huge, orderly nation, ruled by Big Brother with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, state-planned economy, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 867 million Oceanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Airstrip One. The average income tax rate is 67.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Oldspeakian economy, worth 63.0 trillion Pound Sterlings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 72,611 Pound Sterlings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children keel over while singing "Big Brother Gives Us the Water of Life", endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study, Big Brother has been self-declared as the Most Supreme Magnificent Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw, and the state auctions off combat drones to fund war reparations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oldspeak's national animal is the rat.

Oldspeak is ranked 313,940th in the world and 27th in The Order of Corinth for Smartest Citizens, with 13.37 quips per hour.

Top
5%
Most Authoritarian: 4,126thMost Conservative: 6,349thLargest Insurance Industry: 8,509thMost Advanced Public Transport: 16,814thTop
10%
Most Secular: 22,387thLargest Agricultural Sector: 22,559thMost Extreme: 27,271stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 28,171stMost Corrupt Governments: 28,769thMost Ignorant Citizens: 32,379thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 32,667th
Top
5%
Largest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Oldspeak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, the state auctions off combat drones to fund war reparations.
  • : Oldspeak changed its national demonym to "Oceanian".
  • : Oldspeak changed its national leader to "Big Brother".
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, Leader has been self-declared as the Most Supreme Magnificent Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw.
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study.
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, children keel over while singing "Leader Gives Us the Water of Life".
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, foreign governments are looking into weaponizing the infamous Oldspeakian bee.
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, the government only announces the deaths of its members when it's convenient.
  • : Following new legislation in Oldspeak, the government blames all suspicious phenomena on flying saucers.

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