The Militarised Empire of Old Blackwood is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Tex Blackwood with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.491 billion Old Blackwoodians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ironwood. The average income tax rate is 66.5%.

The powerhouse Old Blackwoodian economy, worth 566 trillion Foxens a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 103,190 Foxens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Home renovation shows are increasingly popular, funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, and military chiefs are predicting extra funding in this year's budget. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Blackwood's national animal is the Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Old Blackwood is ranked 22,155^th in the world and 457^th in the Rejected Realms for Longest Average Lifespans, with 89.73 Years.