The Fuerzas Armadas of Numero Capitan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 20.327 billion Capitans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nuca. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 43.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Numero Capitanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,361 trillion gold dim bars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 116,157 gold dim bars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 490,797 per year while the poor average 17,786, a ratio of 27.6 to 1.

Children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, the media have begun calling the government treasury "Leader's stash", whales in captivity live in little more than glorified goldfish bowls, and wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Numero Capitan's national animal is the cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Numero Capitan is ranked 48,256^th in the world and 6^th in 00000 A World Power for Smartest Citizens, with 40.07 quips per hour.