The Soon to be World Cup Winner of Northwest Kalactin is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Nobody with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, ritual sacrifices, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.712 billion Northwest Kalactanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Law & Order, and Defense also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of No government so no capital. The average income tax rate is 55.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Northwest Kalactinian economy, worth 929 trillion Anything you can finds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 138,421 Anything you can finds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

People say that smog must be good for you because of its healthy green colour, diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, and arthritic citizens seem underrepresented at royal meet-and-greets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northwest Kalactin's national animal is the Nothing, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Anything.

Northwest Kalactin is ranked 41,319^th in the world and 106^th in Atlantian Oceania for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 3.77 Bank.