by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 5,274th Safest: 6,212th Most Compassionate Citizens: 6,650th
The Socialist Federation of
Democratic Socialists
The People Will it!
Aleksander Whitt
Influence
Superpower
Permanent First Minister
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Average

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Northern Poland

Population4.307 billion

CapitalDanzig
LeaderAleksander Whitt

CurrencyZłoty
AnimalPenguin

The Socialist Federation of Northern Poland is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Aleksander Whitt with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, public floggings, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 4.307 billion Polandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Danzig. The average income tax rate is 90.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Northern Polandian economy, worth 609 trillion Złoties a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 141,504 Złoties, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stores employing more than 100 employees are required to be at least twenty miles from any competitor, teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season, construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground, and almost every singles' party has a clergy and courtesans theme. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northern Poland's national animal is the Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Northern Poland is ranked 150,097th in the world and 4th in Eurerre for Most Primitive, scoring -314.86 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 5,274thSafest: 6,212thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,650thNicest Citizens: 6,854thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,901stMost Developed: 6,940thMost Inclusive: 6,984thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7,091stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 7,421stMost Efficient Economies: 7,560thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,594thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,763rdTop
10%
Largest Governments: 8,285thMost Cultured: 8,465thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,597thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,639thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,750thLargest Welfare Programs: 9,667thSmartest Citizens: 9,678thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,397thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,531stMost Cheerful Citizens: 10,744thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11,542ndHealthiest Citizens: 11,884thMost Advanced Public Transport: 12,097thMost Scientifically Advanced: 12,355thLargest Publishing Industry: 13,515thHighest Average Incomes: 14,480thMost Beautiful Environments: 14,699thMost Pacifist: 14,765thLargest Information Technology Sector: 15,540th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Northern Poland, almost every singles' party has a clergy and courtesans theme.
  • : Northern Poland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Cultured.
  • : Northern Poland's influence in Eurerre rose from "Power" to "Superpower".
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Poland, construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground.
  • : Northern Poland voted against the World Assembly Resolution "The Cloning Conventions".
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Poland, teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season.
  • : Northern Poland lodged a message on the Eurerre Regional Message Board.
  • : Northern Poland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Poland, stores employing more than 100 employees are required to be at least twenty miles from any competitor.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Poland, Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case.

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