The Holy Empire of North Insomnia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Mad Loser with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 1.922 billion North Insomnians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headachent. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient North Insomnian economy, worth 289 trillion piastres a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 150,412 piastres, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government has legalised small-scale capitalism, 1% of global paper production is bound for the National Archive, citizens are exhausted from weekly general elections, and bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Insomnia's national animal is the dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is ourselves.

North Insomnia is ranked 39,082^nd in the world and 1,299^th in The East Pacific for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 70.26 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.