The Free Land of Nord Botten is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, otherworldly petting zoo, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate population of 3.288 billion Nord Bottenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Norden. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Nord Bottenian economy, worth 599 trillion marks a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 182,421 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, one does not simply walk into the tundra, the horniness of the great-horned wolf is considered a national priority, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime is totally unknown. Nord Botten's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nord Botten is ranked 65,322^nd in the world and 3,525^th in The North Pacific for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 62.77 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.