The United Republic of Noobia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, notable for its absence of drug laws and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 7.211 billion Noobs live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Healthcare, Welfare, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.9%.

The strong Noob economy, worth 344 trillion Noobian Nairas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Soda Sales, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 47,752 Noobian Nairas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 307,766 per year while the poor average 2,993, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Noobia's national animal is the porpoise, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Noobia is ranked 21,508^th in the world and 5^th in Independent Order for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 102.12 on the Bus Surprisal Index.