The Kingdom of Noire Denholm is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The All Powerful Monty Phugotuborn with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 10.36 billion Noire Denholmians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gasselterboerveenschemond. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Noire Denholmian economy, worth a remarkable 2,003 trillion Skuls a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 193,388 Skuls, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams, kids looking for shark teeth have become ancient history, news headlines suggest that The All Powerful Monty Phugotuborn has a sideline in guinea pig pimping, and promising seven years of bad luck leads to seven years of community service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noire Denholm's national animal is the Great Mock Lynx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Dark Cult of Bothughachau.

Noire Denholm is ranked 2,990^th in the world and 92^nd in the South Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 24.29 bananas ingested per day.