by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 627thMost Ignorant Citizens: 628thMost Devout: 1,010th
The Neverending Queue of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Get back to work already!
Influence
Negotiator
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Powerhouse
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Nofunnetall

Population29.725 billion

CapitalNofunnetall City
LeaderBurgermeister Meisterburger
Faithstanding in line

Currencydove poop
Animaldove

The Neverending Queue of Nofunnetall is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Burgermeister Meisterburger with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, public floggings, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 29.725 billion Nofunnetallers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Spirituality, with Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nofunnetall City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 86.2%.

The powerhouse Nofunnetallian economy, worth a remarkable 2,572 trillion dove poops a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, extremely specialized black market in Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 86,544 dove poops, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 283,815 per year while the poor average 19,806, a ratio of 14.3 to 1.

Shipping canals are a bit like unimaginative cheese shops -- filled with debris, Nofunnetall City has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Freshness, recognised healthcare professionals treat diabetes with a grain of sugar in a barrel of water, and the Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nofunnetall's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is standing in line.

Nofunnetall is ranked 21,983rd in the world and 8th in Freshness for Most Stationary, with 1,530.54133295292 days.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 627thMost Ignorant Citizens: 628thMost Devout: 1,010thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,224thTop
5%
Most Avoided: 4,028thLargest Populations: 4,575thMost Conservative: 7,869thHighest Economic Output: 8,866thMost Pacifist: 9,578thLargest Black Market: 10,116thLargest Welfare Programs: 11,111thMost Authoritarian: 13,006thHighest Average Tax Rates: 13,301stTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 17,849thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,979thMost Corrupt Governments: 20,733rdMost Stationary: 21,983rdLargest Governments: 22,168thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 24,315thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 24,445th
Top
10%
Most Devout: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, the Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent.
  • : Nofunnetall was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, recognised healthcare professionals treat diabetes with a grain of sugar in a barrel of water.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, Nofunnetall City has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Freshness.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, shipping canals are a bit like unimaginative cheese shops -- filled with debris.
  • : Nofunnetall lodged a message on the Freshness Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, scavengers with burlap sacks and shovels skulk around graveyards.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, the hills are alive with the sound of ringtones.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, Burgermeister Meisterburger's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site.
  • : Following new legislation in Nofunnetall, the existence of external reality is tacitly denied.

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