The Allied States of Noble Titans is a huge, genial nation, notable for its compulsory military service, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic, devout population of 960 million Noble Titansians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 38.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Noble Titansian economy, worth 41.6 trillion Titaniums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 43,326 Titaniums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noble Titans's national animal is the Dachshund, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Noble Titans is ranked 178,385^th in the world and 52^nd in Ridgefield for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 28.93 on the Bus Surprisal Index.