The Jobless January Czardom of Nikolaias is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Czar Michael Romanov I with a fair hand, and remarkable for its closed borders, rum-swilling pirates, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 2.344 billion Nikolaiasians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Spirituality, and Welfare are also considered important, while Public Transport and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Alexis. The average income tax rate is 39.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Nikolaiasian economy, worth 163 trillion quinnels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Pizza Delivery, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 69,907 quinnels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens finish cleaning up after the annual National Treasure Hunt just in time for the next one, 'Dognado 6: You Gotta Be Kidding Me' is this summer's top-grossing movie, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, and all mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Nikolaias's national animal is the dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Nikolaias is ranked 275,780^th in the world and 876^th in United Kingdom for Fattest Citizens, with 6.92 Obesity Rate.