The Empire of Ngelmish is a gargantuan, safe nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 31.271 billion Ngelmishians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous government prioritizes Education, although Welfare, Environment, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The large but stagnant Ngelmishian economy, worth 371 trillion sketas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 11,880 sketas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is illegal to make racist remarks in public, bars are packed at all hours, abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals, and park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ngelmish's national animal is the white weasel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ngelmish is ranked 3,884^th in the world and 205^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 122.95 law-abiding acts per hour.