by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 29thMost Subsidized Industry: 29thMost Ignorant Citizens: 30th
The Oppressed Peoples of
Iron Fist Consumerists
living hand to mouth
Bad Bessie
Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Next Meal

Population10.506 billion

CapitalThe Pasture
LeaderBad Bessie

CurrencyHelping Hands
AnimalHandsy Human

The Oppressed Peoples of Next Meal is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bad Bessie with an iron fist, and renowned for its feral children, flagrant waste-dumping, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 10.506 billion Next Mealians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Pasture. The average income tax rate is 99.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Next Mealian economy, worth a remarkable 3,536 trillion Helping Hands a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 336,626 Helping Hands, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away, the government is attempting to revitalize a gutted private sector, and centuries-old marble buildings are being torn down and replaced with corrugated steel wind tunnels. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Next Meal's national animal is the Handsy Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Next Meal is ranked 142,310th in the world and 248th in 10000 Islands for Most Pro-Market, scoring 49.44 on the Rand Index.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 29thMost Subsidized Industry: 29thMost Ignorant Citizens: 30thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 30thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46thMost Corrupt Governments: 58thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 79thMost Avoided: 95thHighest Crime Rates: 125thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 132ndFattest Citizens: 159thMost Armed: 276thLargest Retail Industry: 297thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 340thMost Advanced Public Transport: 509thMost Efficient Economies: 556thLargest Mining Sector: 908thLargest Black Market: 935thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,055thRudest Citizens: 1,469thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,508thHighest Average Incomes: 1,945thLargest Governments: 2,275thTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 3,133rdHighest Economic Output: 5,675thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,821stMost Secular: 11,708thMost Valuable International Artwork: 13,438thNudest: 13,730thMost Stationary: 14,920thMost Influential: 15,005thTop
10%
Most Conservative: 22,395thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 26,837th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 8th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 8th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 8th in the regionTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 9th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 15th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 21st in the regionRudest Citizens: 23rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 32nd in the regionLargest Governments: 36th in the regionNudest: 43rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Poor Incomes: 53rd in the regionMost Conservative: 57th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 59th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 82nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, centuries-old marble buildings are being torn down and replaced with corrugated steel wind tunnels.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, the government is attempting to revitalize a gutted private sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, religious terrorism is considered to be an Act of God by insurance companies.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, the nation's train stations are widely considered to be the ugliest in 10000 Islands.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, holiday gift-giving is often peppered with songs of praise to morally-questionable televangelists.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, corrupt paupers spend taxpayer Helping Hands on liquor and tobacco.
  • : Next Meal was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Influential and Most Stationary.
  • : Following new legislation in Next Meal, teenagers are making eye contact with each other for the first time in years.

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