The Big Tex Happy Taco Stands of NewTexas is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Big Tex with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 38.336 billion NewTexans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of NewAustin. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient NewTexan economy, worth an astonishing 15,266 trillion Fajita Tacoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 398,225 Fajita Tacoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, NewTexan novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Big Tex, money always talks but the taboo subject of death just brings silence, and children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. NewTexas's national animal is the Armadillo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

NewTexas is ranked 1,139^th in the world and 8^th in Texas for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 74.41 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.