The Big Tex Happy Taco Stands of NewTexas is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Big Tex with a fair hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, public floggings, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 32.012 billion NewTexans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of NewAustin. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient NewTexan economy, worth an astonishing 12,523 trillion Fajita Tacoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 391,218 Fajita Tacoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, the nation's Medal of Honour can be found as a free toy in breakfast cereal, and double-parking is on the rise as automobile numbers increase. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. NewTexas's national animal is the Armadillo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

NewTexas is ranked 169,853^rd in the world and 148^th in Texas for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -81.24 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.