The Big Tex Happy Taco Stands of NewTexas is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Big Tex with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 34.348 billion NewTexans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of NewAustin. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient NewTexan economy, worth an astonishing 13,409 trillion Fajita Tacoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 390,399 Fajita Tacoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Restaurant owners fear visits from government officials more than the actual food critics, monocled merchants with funny accents are applying for NewTexan citizenship in droves, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, and large areas of NewTexas are not accessible by the public. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. NewTexas's national animal is the Armadillo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

NewTexas is ranked 278^th in the world and 4^th in Texas for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens, with 86.57 Whatever.