by Max Barry

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Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,079th Fattest Citizens: 5,739th Largest Mining Sector: 6,536th
The Gingrich of
Capitalist Paradise
The Washington Outsiders
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Below Average

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Newtered States

Population12.723 billion

LeaderNewt Gingrich


The Gingrich of Newtered States is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Newt Gingrich with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 12.723 billion Newtered Statesians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of GingrichTown. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.0%.

The thriving Newtered Statesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,026 trillion Gingriches a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 80,717 Gingriches, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 359,997 per year while the poor average 11,244, a ratio of 32.0 to 1.

There has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, a large percentage of the poor live from cradle to grave in subterranean wage slavery, Newt Gingrich has just been declared ruler of Newtered States in an international press conference, and Gingrichism has been named as Newtered States's national religion. Crime is a problem. Newtered States's national animal is the Newt, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Gingrichism.

Newtered States is ranked 90,597th in the world and 2,941st in Balder for Most Authoritarian, with 0.2 Stalins.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,079thFattest Citizens: 5,739thLargest Mining Sector: 6,536thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7,052ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7,377thTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 9,603rdLargest Populations: 9,749thMost Avoided: 10,202ndHighest Economic Output: 11,170thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 11,330thMost Armed: 12,248thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12,317thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14,087th
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 102nd in the regionLargest Populations: 272nd in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 295th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 314th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 317th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 326th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 339th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 442nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 450th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 496th in the regionMost Avoided: 529th in the region

National Happenings

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