The Reborn Empire of Newmanistan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Michael V with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, anti-smoking policies, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 19.989 billion Newmanistanians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pocono City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Newmanistanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,124 trillion gold coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 156,297 gold coins, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Government spokespeople are working overtime trying to convince concerned citizens that Emperor Michael V is not a crook, Emperor Michael V claims no responsibility for what Emperor Michael V's government does, the cat stadiums are open 24/7, and Newmanistanian actors literally work from cradle to grave. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Newmanistan's national animal is the cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Roman Catholic.

Newmanistan is ranked 160,664^th in the world and 66^th in Esportiva for Most Cultured, scoring 57 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.