The United Socialist States of New Touwen is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Sir Roger David of Woodville with a fair hand, and notable for its absence of drug laws, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-working, democratic population of 21.703 billion New Touwenians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, pro-business, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Touwenville. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.3%.

The very strong New Touwenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,205 trillion Touwenars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Average income is 55,539 Touwenars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 177,568 per year while the poor average 13,194, a ratio of 13.5 to 1.

New Touwen has designated Touwenville as its capital city, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income, Sir Roger David of Woodville has just been declared ruler of New Touwen in an international press conference, and Touwenianism has been named as New Touwen's national religion. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Touwen's national animal is the Armadillo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Touwenianism.

New Touwen is ranked 135,041^st in the world and 8^th in Grecklandia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 62.25 law-abiding acts per hour.