The Socialist Republic of New Slovakastan is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Orwell Wright with an even hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.955 billion Slovakastanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Domáci. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slovakastani economy, worth a remarkable 1,128 trillion Septims a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 113,347 Septims, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside, and families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Slovakastan's national animal is the Coopers Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

New Slovakastan is ranked 88,431^st in the world and 82^nd in Lands End for Most Stationary, with 239.40638844648 days.