The Ritual of New Octicarg is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Papa Emeritus IV with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, otherworldly petting zoo, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.916 billion New Octicargians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Achtimont. The average income tax rate is 90.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Octicargian economy, worth 414 trillion galleons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 142,203 galleons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Clergy who start talking about politics are forced to take a holy vow of silence, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, and libraries are bulldozed to make way for internet cafés. Crime is totally unknown. New Octicarg's national animal is the octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Synod of Singularity.

New Octicarg is ranked 6,896^th in the world and 289^th in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,316.01 on the Clooney Contribution Index.