The Federation of New Jaedonstan is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Sadek Slosky with a fair hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, zero percent divorce rate, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 16.491 billion Jaedonstonians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Traxa. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.4%.

The frighteningly efficient New Jaedonstanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,509 trillion Libits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 152,164 Libits, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 647,019 per year while the poor average 23,047, a ratio of 28.1 to 1.

A girl's success in life is often linked to her performance in beauty pageants, mandatory spouse selection pairs elderly apparatchiki with stunningly beautiful supermodels, prank shows are so hot right now, and lumberjacks only use certified eco-friendly chainsaws. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Jaedonstan's national animal is the Turkey Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

New Jaedonstan is ranked 304,661^st in the world and 296^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Primitive, scoring -355.69 on the Scary Big Number Scale.