The República de Colombia of New Aapelistan is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ernesto Samper Pizano with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and enforced nudity. The hard-nosed population of 9.067 billion Colombians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bogotá. The average income tax rate is 71.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient New Aapelistanian economy, worth 456 trillion Colombian pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Woodchip Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 50,351 Colombian pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's children are known for being even more apathetic and cynical than their parents, wealthy pranksters dump refuse on unsuspecting citizens from up high, local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities, and women find themselves saying "my eyes are up here" more often than they used to. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Aapelistan's national animal is the FARC guerilla, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholism.

New Aapelistan is ranked 139,477^th in the world and 161^st in Commonwealth of Liberty for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -8.12 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.