by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 3,051stMost Authoritarian: 6,498thMost Influential: 7,997th
The Exiled Holy Muslim Empire of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Long live the Ottomans!
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.749 billion


CurrencyOttoman lira
AnimalNeo-Ottomanian pink bear

The Exiled Holy Muslim Empire of Neo-Ottomania is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its closed borders, triple-decker prams, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.749 billion Neo-Ottomanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neo-Constantinople. The average income tax rate is 75.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Neo-Ottomanian economy, worth 151 trillion Ottoman lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 55,140 Ottoman lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Summer science camps are regularly raided by narcotics police, people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed, rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons, and citizens who don't attend the nation's massive military parades tend to disappear overnight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neo-Ottomania's national animal is the Neo-Ottomanian pink bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Neo-Ottomania is ranked 19,228th in the world and 1,003rd in The North Pacific for Most Income Equality, scoring 80.17 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Most Primitive: 3,051stMost Authoritarian: 6,498thMost Influential: 7,997thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,883rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,164thMost Conservative: 10,245thMost Patriotic: 10,804thBest Weather: 10,853rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 13,598thTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 16,250thMost Income Equality: 19,228thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,360thLowest Crime Rates: 22,161stMost Corrupt Governments: 23,199thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 25,254th
Most Primitive: 77th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 291st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 310th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 381st in the regionMost Patriotic: 420th in the regionLargest Black Market: 495th in the regionMost Conservative: 599th in the regionBest Weather: 609th in the regionMost Extreme: 615th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 620th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 652nd in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 749th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 856th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 935th in the regionMost Income Equality: 1,003rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1,025th in the regionMost Influential: 1,258th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,304th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1,330th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,373rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,381st in the region

National Happenings

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