The Holy Blue Moon Brains of Narkina is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory vegetarianism, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.193 billion Narkinans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Narkinan economy, worth 795 trillion Brains a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,728 Brains, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,305,844 per year while the poor average 9,816, a ratio of 133 to 1.

Fathers are free to sell their daughters to whomever they choose, the well-to-do in The League are never on time for important appointments, Leader's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, and a National Academy regulates grammar and usage. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Narkina's national animal is the Bat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Narkina is ranked 1,393^rd in the world and 3^rd in The League for Most Primitive, scoring 211.99 on the Scary Big Number Scale.