The Empire of Napoleono is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by King Nick I with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.843 billion Napoleonish are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New York. The average income tax rate is 44.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Napoleonan economy, worth 600 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 211,363 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies, airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path, Napoleono is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, and aspiring authors begrudgingly help proofread issue submissions (Napoleono has found 2 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Napoleono's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Napoleono is ranked 295,231^st in the world and 13^th in Commonwealth of Poland for Most Primitive, scoring -262.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.