The Theocracy of Mount Orchard is a colossal, pleasant nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, unlimited-speed roads, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed population of 6.776 billion Mount Orchardians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 27.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Mount Orchardian economy, worth 399 trillion Drachmas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 58,916 Drachmas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Children deemed 'disorderly' or otherwise unfit for public schools are shipped off to military academies, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, colleges adhere to rigid ethnic quotas for admissions, and chewing tree bark proves to have limited value during childbirth. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Mount Orchard's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Mount Orchard is ranked 229,937^th in the world and 9,818^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 56.04 law-abiding acts per hour.