by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

Most Valuable International Artwork: 844thMost Patriotic: 6,251stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,798th
The Nouveau Pauvre of
Iron Fist Socialists
Twelve cigarettes and the dream of a free humanity.
Everyone
Influence
Nipper
Air Marshal and Speaker
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
All-Consuming
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Mlakhavia

Population3.179 billion

CapitalEverywhere
LeaderEveryone
FaithEverything

CurrencyFree Association of Labour
AnimalBluejay

The Nouveau Pauvre of Mlakhavia is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Everyone with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.179 billion Mlakhavi are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Everywhere. The average income tax rate is 79.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Mlakhavi economy, worth 462 trillion Free Associations of Labour a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 145,602 Free Associations of Labour, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Theatre audiences often need a telescope to see the stage, Everyone's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations. Crime is totally unknown. Mlakhavia's national animal is the Bluejay, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Everything.

Mlakhavia is ranked 99,075th in the world and 1,006th in The Communist Bloc for Healthiest Citizens, with 3.3 bananas ingested per day.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 844thTop
5%
Most Patriotic: 6,251stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,798thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,141stMost Inclusive: 8,539thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,127thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9,276thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,320thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9,383rdNicest Citizens: 9,958thMost Compassionate Citizens: 10,585thMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,106thLargest Black Market: 11,162ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,596thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,848thLargest Welfare Programs: 13,824thTop
10%
Highest Food Quality: 14,711thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,841stMost Corrupt Governments: 15,230thMost Beautiful Environments: 17,348thHighest Average Tax Rates: 18,204thMost Rebellious Youth: 18,888thMost Secular: 19,745thHighest Average Incomes: 20,247thLargest Governments: 21,033rdMost Subsidized Industry: 23,710thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 24,578thBest Weather: 24,639thLongest Average Lifespans: 25,494thMost Cultured: 26,136thMost Developed: 27,464th
Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 13th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 33rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 41st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 67th in the regionMost Patriotic: 72nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 73rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 73rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Armed: 83rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 111th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 137th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations.
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
  • : Mlakhavia was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Iron Fist Socialists".
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, Everyone's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition.
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, theatre audiences often need a telescope to see the stage.
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, it is illegal to carry an umbrella when the official weather forecast predicts a sunny day.
  • : Mlakhavia was reclassified from "Iron Fist Socialists" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps".
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination".
  • : Following new legislation in Mlakhavia, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners.

More...

Report