by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 849thMost Patriotic: 6,400thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,653rd
The Nouveau Pauvre of
Iron Fist Socialists
Twelve cigarettes and the dream of a free humanity.
Air Marshal and Speaker
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.252 billion


CurrencyFree Association of Labour

The Nouveau Pauvre of Mlakhavia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Everyone with an iron fist, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.252 billion Mlakhavi are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Everywhere. The average income tax rate is 80.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Mlakhavi economy, worth 479 trillion Free Associations of Labour a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 147,342 Free Associations of Labour, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, the nation's new currency features full-length portraits of Everyone in ermine and velvet garb, unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police, and the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. Crime is totally unknown. Mlakhavia's national animal is the Bluejay, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Everything.

Mlakhavia is ranked 285,432nd in the world and 1,369th in The Communist Bloc for Most Primitive, scoring -393.07 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 849thTop
Most Patriotic: 6,400thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,653rdMost Inclusive: 7,956thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,290thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,785thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 8,875thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,382ndNicest Citizens: 9,387thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,548thMost Compassionate Citizens: 9,824thMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,054thLargest Black Market: 11,123rdLargest Welfare Programs: 11,169thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,695thMost Rebellious Youth: 11,833rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,609thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,088thHighest Food Quality: 13,814thTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 15,411thHighest Average Tax Rates: 16,634thMost Beautiful Environments: 17,113thLargest Governments: 19,815thHighest Average Incomes: 19,925thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 20,011thMost Secular: 20,543rdMost Subsidized Industry: 24,159thMost Cultured: 24,372ndLongest Average Lifespans: 24,662ndBest Weather: 25,726thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26,008thMost Developed: 26,664thSmartest Citizens: 29,034th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 13th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 32nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 70th in the regionMost Patriotic: 72nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 72nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 76th in the regionMost Armed: 78th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 117th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 130th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: