The Nouveau Pauvre of Mlakhavia is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Everyone with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.179 billion Mlakhavi are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Everywhere. The average income tax rate is 79.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Mlakhavi economy, worth 462 trillion Free Associations of Labour a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 145,602 Free Associations of Labour, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Theatre audiences often need a telescope to see the stage, Everyone's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations. Crime is totally unknown. Mlakhavia's national animal is the Bluejay, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Everything.

Mlakhavia is ranked 99,075^th in the world and 1,006^th in The Communist Bloc for Healthiest Citizens, with 3.3 bananas ingested per day.