by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 403rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,116thMost Devout: 3,438th
The Nearly Witches of
Iron Fist Consumerists
But Will It Blend
Overseer of Blade Corps
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Miss Bad Life Choices

Population6.579 billion

LeaderDakota Vytherov

Currencygold coin
Animalspace dolphin

The Nearly Witches of Miss Bad Life Choices is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Dakota Vytherov with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, parental licensing program, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.579 billion Daks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Azaelai. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Dakian economy, worth 926 trillion gold coins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 140,753 gold coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 402,983 per year while the poor average 39,137, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.

The government has awarded itself a month-long holiday to celebrate its achievements, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward, Dakota Vytherov's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, and throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Miss Bad Life Choices's national animal is the space dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Lynxism.

Miss Bad Life Choices is ranked 6,366th in the world and 35th in The Black Hawks for Largest Black Market, with 261 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 403rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,116thTop
Most Devout: 3,438thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,277thLargest Black Market: 6,366thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,395thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,928thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,008thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,271stLargest Mining Sector: 8,634thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,716thMost Efficient Economies: 10,019thTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 12,521stLowest Crime Rates: 13,841stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15,743rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,917thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 16,064thHighest Average Incomes: 16,323rdMost Developed: 16,513thLargest Governments: 17,217thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,884thHighest Economic Output: 19,569thMost Authoritarian: 19,813thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,221stMost Cultured: 23,010th
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13th in the regionTop
Most Devout: 20th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 22nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 32nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 34th in the regionLargest Black Market: 35th in the regionMost Developed: 36th in the region

National Happenings

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