The Nearly Witches of Miss Bad Life Choices is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Dakota Vytherov with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, parental licensing program, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.579 billion Daks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Azaelai. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.8%.
The frighteningly efficient Dakian economy, worth 926 trillion gold coins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 140,753 gold coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 402,983 per year while the poor average 39,137, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.
The government has awarded itself a month-long holiday to celebrate its achievements, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward, Dakota Vytherov's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, and throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Miss Bad Life Choices's national animal is the space dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Lynxism.
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Miss Bad Life Choices ejected and banned The Republic of RetroAmerica from The Black Hawks.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices withdrew a request for embassies between The Black Hawks and Entropy.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices proposed constructing embassies between The Black Hawks and Entropy.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices agreed to construct embassies between The Gay Agenda and Caribbean Archipelago of the Tropics.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices agreed to construct embassies between The Gay Agenda and United Island States.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices relocated from The Gay Agenda to The Black Hawks.
- : The Switcher of Gay and Exhausted appointed Miss Bad Life Choices as Vice-Delegate with authority over Appearance, Border Control, Communications, Embassies, and Polls in The Gay Agenda.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices relocated from The Black Hawks to The Gay Agenda.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices relocated from The Nest to The Black Hawks.
- : Miss Bad Life Choices relocated from The Black Hawks to The Nest.