The Benevolent Dictatorship of Miltovia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Milton I with an even hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, otherworldly petting zoo, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 23.877 billion Miltovians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Education and Spirituality are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Milton. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Miltovian economy, worth a remarkable 6,965 trillion milts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 291,740 milts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Immigrants are told to pull themselves up by their worn-out budget bootstraps, blue sky thinkers are reminded that the firmament is actually more of a grey-ish colour, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second, and blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Miltovia's national animal is the wombat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Campbellism.

Miltovia is ranked 261^st in the world and 1^st in Taijitu for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 19,409.11 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.