by Max Barry

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Largest Publishing Industry: 1,978th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,250th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,298th
The United States of
Capitalist Paradise
Nixon-Bauer 2016!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The United States of Mike the Progressive is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Robot Nixon with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful population of 9.077 billion Mike the Progressiveans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Education, with Law & Order and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Twin Peaks. The average income tax rate is 2.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Mike the Progressivean economy, worth a remarkable 1,097 trillion USDS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 120,938 USDS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign nations kill migratory animals at random in the hope that Mike the Progressive will pay them to stop, Mike the Progressivean police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests, the government's economic policy is "sort it yourself", and orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Mike the Progressive's national animal is the bald eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Mike the Progressive is ranked 137,349th in the world and 1,124th in 10000 Islands for Safest, scoring 8.97 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

Largest Publishing Industry: 1,978thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,250thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,298thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,605thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,698thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,405thLargest Retail Industry: 4,539thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,776thLargest Gambling Industry: 5,969thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,401stMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,710thTop
Most Avoided: 8,356thSmartest Citizens: 9,352ndHighest Economic Output: 9,555thMost Cultured: 9,951stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 15,513th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 31st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 50th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 53rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 53rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 58th in the regionTop
Largest Retail Industry: 70th in the regionMost Avoided: 76th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 80th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 88th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 96th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 107th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 5 » LimpBizkit, Spudlandia, Markanite, Barycenter of the Amazing Newtonian Hell, and Thranon.

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