The Melon of Melons is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Melon Boi with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, zero percent divorce rate, and smutty television. The compassionate, cynical population of 6.178 billion Melons are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melonsville. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Melon economy, worth 922 trillion Skyrims a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 149,365 Skyrims, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, children are often punished for the sins of the fathers, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, and school plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Melons's national animal is the Melon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Melonism.

Melons is ranked 165,026^th in the world and 13^th in Just relax for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 519.98 on the Societal Mobility Rating.