The Spooky Legisoldier of Melicorium is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chairman Stan Melix with a fair hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, rampant corporate plagiarism, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 1.38 billion Americans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Administration, Industry, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cypress. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Melicorian economy, worth 195 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 141,964 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Melicorium's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, the nation has declared war on all passing comets, and excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Melicorium's national animal is the mourning dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is state atheism.

Melicorium is ranked 5,400^th in the world and 205^th in the South Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 9,069.94 on the Gilded Widget Scale.