The Kingdom of Melanoi is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The cynical population of 4.632 billion Melanoians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 56.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Melanoian economy, worth 128 trillion zops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Tourism, Basket Weaving, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 27,824 zops, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided, sexually-starved male dinosaurs terrorise tourists during weekly breakouts from Mesozoic Park, guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, and on-duty Air Melanoi flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Melanoi's national animal is the honeybee, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Soupism.

Melanoi is ranked 59,262^nd in the world and 3,609^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.94 law-abiding acts per hour.