The Civilisation Game of Mastodonia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Shepard Blaine with a fair hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, rampant corporate plagiarism, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.336 billion Mastodonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Mastodonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,242 trillion Postagestamps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 196,123 Postagestamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property, and Mastodonians submit requests for a date in writing with an enclosed RSVP card. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mastodonia's national animal is the mastodon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Project Pope.

Mastodonia is ranked 1,344^th in the world and 23^rd in 10000 Islands for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 10,913.8 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.