by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 44thMost Devout: 78thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 108th
The Empire of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Don't mention the war.
Influence
Sprat
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Fair
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Mastaba

Population19.014 billion

CapitalDock
LeaderJohn
FaithBuddhism

CurrencyColonies
AnimalSailor

The Empire of Mastaba is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by John with an iron fist, and renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.014 billion Mastabans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dock. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but underdeveloped Mastaban economy, worth a remarkable 2,447 trillion Colonieses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 128,707 Colonieses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens who don't follow Buddhism are closely monitored for signs of self-harm, knitters are arrested for carrying needles in their bags, rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century, and kids are told they can be whoever they want to be when they grow up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mastaba's national animal is the Sailor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Buddhism.

Mastaba is ranked 5,281st in the world and 5th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 6,307.27 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Lowest Crime Rates: 44thMost Devout: 78thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 108thLargest Governments: 215thMost Corrupt Governments: 236thMost Primitive: 309thHighest Average Tax Rates: 337thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 425thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 527thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 878thSafest: 984thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,057thBest Weather: 1,416thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,437thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,447thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,281stHighest Economic Output: 5,719thLargest Populations: 7,261stMost Advanced Public Education: 7,957thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 14,401stHealthiest Citizens: 15,778thHighest Poor Incomes: 17,171stHighest Average Incomes: 19,194th
Top
1%
Lowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionBest Weather: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 2nd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 15th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 22nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 29th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 29th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, kids are told they can be whoever they want to be when they grow up.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, knitters are arrested for carrying needles in their bags.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, citizens who don't follow Buddhism are closely monitored for signs of self-harm.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, the nation's air force consists of strongly-worded letters folded into paper airplanes.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, Maths Professor Barbie is the most popular toy for boys and girls alike.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, citizen radio operators agree that the certification test can open up a world of hertz.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, museums have more touchscreens on display than artifacts.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, the Mastaban Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation.
  • : Following new legislation in Mastaba, the sun now sets on the Mastaban Empire.

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