The United States of Luntern is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Lampman Harry with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, feral children, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.334 billion Lunternians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lighthouse 12. The average income tax rate is 94.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Lunternian economy, worth a remarkable 4,176 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 240,914 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government regrets to say that it is forced to make cuts to citizens, military chaplains grow frustrated with their long commutes, love is in the air, and it is written that heretics die and Lampman Harry laughs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Luntern's national animal is the dolphin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Fire.

Luntern is ranked 876^th in the world and 1^st in The Union of Democratic States for Largest Black Market, with 6,622 trillion Standard Monetary Units.